"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
