Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
