i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
