Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
