I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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