I'm really into asian looking animals
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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