Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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