More tranny stories later!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he shaved USA in his pubs
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
