hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
