we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
