you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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