"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
