My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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