I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
