New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Semen is not good for contacts.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
