Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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