We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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