and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
