I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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