exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
