Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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