dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
