I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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