we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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