ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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