how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
