I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
