So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
