you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
