I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
They took my balls.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
