I can tuck mytits in my pants
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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