Do you still have your period?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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