Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
