I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
