You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
