Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
