I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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