haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
