woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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