He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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