Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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