No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
