Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
