I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
