What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
