My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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