And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
