If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
