If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
