I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
