Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
